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Christian Marriage Counseling

Marriage is not easy but God says marriage is Holy; and, living in a Holy, God pleasing manner is also not easy but it is filled with joy.  If you are experiencing trouble in you marriage please call for an appointment we can help and we have been helping the marriages of people just like you for almost thirty years.  More than counseling this truly is ministry for when marriage is in Christ it is the foundation of all we hold near and dear and the bedrock of society itself.
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Recent article:
Marriage and the Christian Home

Marriage is not easy but God says marriage is Holy; and, living in a Holy, God pleasing manner is also not easy but it is filled with joy. My promise to you is this. This article will show you how to rescue your marriage, to save your marriage. All you need to do is to read it carefully and prayerfully. Follow the simple direction I leave with you at its conclusion and your marriage will be well on its way to being restored. This article is for the reader who wants his or her marriage to work, to be ‘whole’, in Christ and fulfilling.

Returning to the point, if your marriage is experiencing problems and the subject of divorce has come up, then what needs examining, first of all, is the manner in which each of you conduct your own lives. Your greatest potential for change resides within yourself.  It’s a lot easier to get yourself to do things differently than it is to get your spouse to act differently.  If the joy you once felt in your marriage is gone and replaced with resentment and bitterness perhaps this is due to your not following the pathways of Holiness. Consider for a moment that God has clearly set forth in His word, the Bible, all the needful counsel for marriage to succeed.  The Bible speaks of the love each spouse is to have for the other.  It reveals how spouses are to interact, how they are to pray and be Holy; and, it even covers how we are to be intimate with each other becoming one flesh in Christ.  It outlines how we are to raise our children, how to train them and educate them. We are shown how we are to fit in with our community and into the local body of believers.   The word of God leaves nothing unsaid regarding marriage in order that we can live out happy and fulfilled lives.  Moreover, when tragedy arises, this too is covered in its pages and from them we can find Holy solace and hope.

So, when examining your own marital situation, the Christian needs to ask, ‘am I following God’s perfect counsel i.e., am I living marriage according to what the Bible teaches?’ Ask yourself, ‘Am I guilty of contributing to the mess we are in?’ To whatever degree your answer is yes, … stop it.  Stop it now! Doesn’t it make sense to you if you are 50 per cent of the problem then by you fixing the things you can fix now, you’ve improved your marriage 50 per cent? Wouldn’t this be a worthwhile thing to do?  But what if you are only 10 per cent of the problem? Isn’t it worthwhile to improve thing just 10 per cent?  If this is true,  how about just 1 per cent? Can you improve your marriage just 1 per cent? Do you get the point? The Lord taught use to take care of our own problems before we look to finding fault with others.

The saddest observation I can make, after almost thirty years of marriage counseling is the fact that I have yet to hear from anyone, ‘I have failed to be a good spouse’.  Instead I hear, ‘I am unhappy’ or ‘the Lord knows, I’ve tried to make that guy or woman happy, but….,”.

The truth is marital unfaithfulness is not restricted to marital infidelity. In fact unfaithfulness in a biblical focused marriage takes many forms, the most common of which is being unfaithful to living a Christian life within the marriage.  How so? This is so because when you married, you made a covenant between yourself, your spouse and God. The failure to live up to your own obligations in living that Christian life is your own infidelity… infidelity to yourself, to your spouse, to God and to the covenant!  It constitutes your breach of the union, a union which goes well beyond flesh and blood, hearth and home, job and kids. 

When spouses complain about their partners they tend to define the lack in their spouse in terms of what the ‘world’ defines as desirable not what God says is worthy.   Often, I’ll hear the Christian say, my spouse spends too much money, isn’t sexual enough, is a workaholic, doesn’t pay enough attention to me or to the kids, is lazy, won’t dress in trendy (sexy) styles, is too fat or too thin, is too sloppy a housekeeper or too compulsive about neatness. My spouse blames me for everything and won’t accept accountability. They say, he or she is too this, or too that, etc.  How sad.  They forget that as long as we are at home in our own bodies and in the world, we are away from the Lord, we walk by faith not by sight and so fix our eyes not upon what is seen but what is unseen for what is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal

Where are the spousal considerations which say, ‘my spouse is a Godly person, my spouse has my good will at heart and I know this to be true’. This is the healing balm for a marriage on the rocks.  This is what is called agape love, a love rooted in goodwill and benevolence.

The counsel I promised at the start of this article is simply this, look to see what you can do to help things first.  Change the things you can change before speaking about your partners’ shortcomings. If you have a Christian will and heart you know this is the right counsel. 

Obviously this is not a universal fix.  Sometimes couples need more.  Sometimes the pain is too great or the problem is too complicated. In cases like these it is wise to seek a Christian counselor and if you are in the Dallas, Texas area please feel free to call the Day Spring Center 214 893-4567.